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msnbc.com
A survey by a UK-based divorce website shows that Facebook figures prominently in one-third of divorce petitions, an increase of 13 percent from two years ago.
Of course, Divorce-Online is in the business of dealing and profiting from the breakup of marriages, so take the results as you will, but the blog post describes how 5,000 petitions were reviewed recently, as in 2009, and 33 percent of them contained "Facebook."
The top three reasons Facebook was cited in these petitions:
- Inappropriate messages to members of the opposite sex.
- Separated spouses posting nasty comments about each other.
- Facebook friends reporting spouse’s behavior.
So, not only are people using Facebook to hook up with lost loves and make new ones, but they're also using their virtual walls to wage public relations wars with their soon-to-be ex-spouses.
“Social networking has become the primary tool for communication and is taking over from text and email in my opinion," said Mark Keenan, founder and CEO of Online Legal Services Limited, the parent company of Divorce-Online. "If someone wants to have an affair or flirt with the opposite sex then it's the easiest place to do it. Also the use of Facebook to make comments about ex-partners to friends has become extremely common with both sides using Facebook to vent their grievances against each other. People need to be careful what they write on their walls as the courts are seeing these posts being used in financial disputes and children cases as evidence.”
Live Poll
Did Facebook play a role in your divorce?
In the U.S., Facebook has even more clout in divorce proceedings. In 2010, the 1,600-member American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (which focuses on the end of matrimony, as it were) cited a survey that linked Facebook to one in five divorces, with 81 percent of those lawyers focusing on social media as the new affair hotbed. And the hottest of all was Facebook, with 66 percent of those AAML sources mentioning it specifically for evidence of marital discord and misconduct.
In September, a Connecticut judge ordered a divorcing couple to hand over each other's Facebook passwords to aid the discovering process in legal proceedings that included a custody battle.
Of course, on the other end of the spectrum are those who don't blame Facebook, as it is just the latest medium by which the unfaithful carry out their transgressions. People, they say, will always find a way to cheat. It's about establishing boundaries both spouses will respect. As an article on DadsDivorce.com puts it, "It’s not fair to blame Facebook or Internet dating sites because they are just the vehicle — not the driver."
Take our poll and let us know if and how Facebook figured in the dissolution of your marital happiness.
More stories:
- Facebook: 6 degrees of separation? More like 4
- Divorcing couple ordered to disclose Facebook passwords
- Facebook: Marriage killer?
- Facebook is divorce lawyers' new best friend
Check out Technolog on Facebook, and on Twitter, follow Athima Chansanchai, who is also trying to keep her head above water in the Google+ stream.
Leave a Comment:
I've learned that the easiest way to get over an ex or a bad break up is simply to block them from your FB page entirely! That way, there is no temptation to be nasty, get upset, or search for their posts to see what they are up too. So much easier this way. Don't poison FB with your break up crap.
Wow , that is so much easier than just not spilling your personal crap out onto the internet in the first place.
Yes, Facebook stalking is another issue. My co-worker stalked her ex-boyfriend on Facebook and would get angry every time she saw other women's pictures on his page, yet she would tell people she was "over him". She ended up getting drunk one weekend, seeing one of the women on his FB at the beach, and punched her. She ran away and hid when someone told her they had called the cops on her. It wouldn't be so ridiculous if she were a teen, but this is a 47-year-old woman we're talking about! Very immature to say the least! The best way to get over someone is to cut all ties with that person, that means no texting, no Facebook friending or stalking, no calling. Just pretend that person is dead and move on. Seeing a shrink also does wonders.
Just another...that IS easier. And just becuase you have a FAcebook page does not mean you are spilling personal crap to the world. But please..feel free to fool yourself into thinking you are suerpior topeople who use Facebook if that gives you a reason to stave off suicide one more day. I've heard the holidays are tough for the lonely.
Better yet, don't be involved with FaceBook to begin with! Too many people are so overly obsessed with it, and don't even notice the total creepiness to a site where it's all lemmings on there just because everybody else is followin' everybody else off the proverbial cliff. That's EXACTLY the creepiness. Step right up, you're lemming number 74, 532,1964. Stay away from FaceBook
Facebook is nothing more than a group of drama seeking nosey neighbors whose lives are boring enough that they feel the need to exploit every little thing by standing up saying "look at me! look at me!
Sounds like a few people here are jealous that they don't know any interesting people to add to their social network. Like anything, Facebook is as good as you make it to be. Find interesting people, and you have an interesting Facebook.
Facebook is lame.
AMEN, Mike! I'm not on facebook and never will be. I do not want everyone knowing every time I take a crap, or how many steps my child took yesterday, don't care if "old friends" from high school look me up or not, (lets face it, if they were your friends to begin with, you would have never lost contact in the first place, right?) I think Facebook promotes nothing but problems, which is what this article is about. I don't want everyone who knows me to know every single tiff tiff I have with whoever. There is a such thing as "over-sharing" and Facebook is the breeding ground for just that.
Hear, hear Cherie. Facebook is one of the most ridiculous inventions of the modern technological age.
Agree with you all. Facebook is nothing but more air for already over inflated egos. Some people literally live on that thing and imo, shows an unproductive, non active and unhealthy lifestyle. I could say the same thing for Twitter, but I don't subscribe to it and really don't know much about it.
FaceBook, the place to connect with total mental retards lol
Cherie-3593423 Agreed, and well said. The only thing you left out is CREEPY lol
I totally agree with Cherie, also. I don't do Facebook for a number of reasons, including an ex that would stalk me, but also because I'm not compelled to share every detail of my life, nor do I need people telling me Happy Birthday or that I look "hot" or whatever in a picture I posted obviously to get feedback from my "friends". I have looked though, since my business is on there and supposedly since it's the "thing to do" if you have a business (not impressed with the results, btw) and I find it very interesting that the people that I know are married (and there are a lot), have not indicated that on their relationship status, although they've pretty much listed every other detail...work, school, hometown, birthday, etc., etc., etc. I've always felt and will always feel that Facebook is an opening to cheat. You hear it alot on tv with people saying their spouse, bf, gf, etc., started seeing/dating/cheating someone they met or reconnected with on Facebook. If you are one of those people that use it, please just use it responsibly and be upfront about your relationship status and keep your boundaries. Facebook can be a great tool for staying in contact with friends and family so long as people use it for the right reasons.
Y'all are soooo smug and proud of yourselves for not being on Facebook, yet you are self-absorbed enough to write loooong paragraphs in a comments thread claiming superiority over those who are. Don't break your arms patting yourselves on the back; you are at least as deluded and ridiculous as any Facebook denizen!
Soooo, just because you all don't spend time on facebook (maybe talking with family, old friends, etc), you make up for it posting your superiority over everyone else in comment sections of news stories? Congrats!
The problem is that people say things on Facebook that they would not say in person or in the midst of other people. They get upset with someone and keep them as a friend! It is crazy. It definitely separates those that grew up from those that are intellectually still in high school.
Cop friend of mine said a lot of the domestic battery reports recently have started over a Facebook post ...
Your cop friend is an idiot. Facebok is not making these things happen. IT is just another outlet for it. Anyone who posts something that upsets a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend, or GETS upset due to a Facebook post is not in a healthy relationship to begin with. And anyone who acs out violently because of it is nt a well adjusted individual and would act out violently regardless.
You're the idiot.
Here the cop is the idiot and YOUAREKIDDING too.
Isn't technology grand?
This is stupid people blaming facebook for their own stupidity. Grow up people!
Blaming the internet. Wow. It's not due to chronic dysfunction? It's not because 8 out of every 10 people, male and female can't keep it in their pants? Ow how people fight over money like wild animals? Nah. It's Facebook. Unbelievable.
Can you people slow down please. I'm just starting to figure out myspace :^)
I predicted this years ago to many people. In the past 18 months I've had family members who were married for 20 years get divorced because they got in touch with old high school sweethearts on facebook and let nostalgia get the best of them. It's going to get worse for divorces and cause even more damage to the way we're supposed to socialize such as having feelings. I myself stay off of it. I've been around since 1998 running a web design company, this pointless stuff comes and goes while a profit is made from people consuming too much of their time. Delete your account and go outside! Life is too short to spend it posting constant pointless stuff on your walls and feeds.
You do realize that you can post to FB and other social networking sites from your cell phone? You can post to these sites from anywhere! You make it sound like only lazy people use social networking... newsflash, everyone uses it, even the most physically fit.
Couldn't agree with you more, botkins. Besides this obsession with Facebook, how about the obsession with cell phones? Is itreally necessary to have that phone glued to one's ear 24/7? Does no one cherish a little privacy anymore, or a little peace and quiet?
Don't worry, soon SOPA will collapse the internet and our choices will go back to watching TV or going outside.
But seriously, how is someone finding out about infidelity on FB any different than someone finding an honest to god written letter? Blaming FB is about as sane as blaming global mail delivery.
IMHO FB is a boon to healthy relationships, as it makes it harder and harder for the cheats to hide. Most of these folks were probably going to end up divorced anyways, so the sooner that happens the better. For many people, divorce is a GOOD thing.
I don't own a cell phone JadaPotata, but I do know you can post from them too. When I take a walk I constantly see people glued to their phones. Whether it's by computer or phone it doesn't matter. I'm 26 years old and people in my age group can't go 30 minutes without checking their phones or computers for text messages, facebook updates or tweets. It's sad.
Botkins....there are people who use Facebook who have a FAR better life in EVERY WAY POSSIBLE than you even lie about having.
What have I lied about jkfan? Please point that out. The only thing about my life you know about is that I don't own a cell phone and that I run a web design company - invisionblue.com. The rest of my life is private. If one knew your name I'm sure they could type it in facebook and learn everything about you which would be really sad.
I was going to respond to not owning a cell phone but my beeper just went off. I have to find a pay phone now... Later!
That's a good example Jimcolorado of how those things own you, well done.
I thought it was slightly funny :)
Never put anything in writing you would not want published in the newspaper for the whole world to read. Problem solved. Happy New Year to all!
or never put in writing that you wouldnt say to a persons face, much more civil then
Agreed. I think the internet would be 90% less cluttered with trash talk if that person was right in front of your face.
I post funny pictures that I got from friends, pictures of my dogs, my garden, the snowfall, etc. I do not ever post anything about my job, a personal problem, friendships gone bad, wild parties, etc. sure, I'm boring, but I won't ever get fired for disclosing information, won't lose a job if they see my FB, friends don't get mad at me, and I'm never seen doing anything embarassing or illegal. FB is just for fun, its not my whole life.
Best way to remain "safely" married if you use facebook. Give your spouse your password and welcome them to check your interactions anytime they want. Temptation to get a little "flirty" goes right out the window!
Can I get Facebook on my commodore 64 ?
I've got it on my Amiga... You should be just fine!
Yeah, but if you want to see pictures then you at least have to upgrade to the 8088 :P
I can't wait to read the 20 pages of posts this story will generate by the Facebook addicts who will espouse 300 different ways to keep your personal and private information safe except simply not posting it on Facebook.
see Facebook is good for something they're a community parasite support mechanism for ensuring divorces. Mark the thief must be proud.
Way to go Mark your as much or more scummy than eBay.
Again. What are the Pro's from using FB?
This is the most gheyest App ever.
Excuse me while I go check my status to see who thinks I'm witty.
Wonderful social network. I have no desire to participate in Facebook, life is busy enough and I don't need the drama.
I haven't been on facebook since I discovered Myspace last week... Hehehe. Actually, I'm not on any of them. I keep my stuff private. I don't want people knowing what I'm doing. If I want them to know, I'll tell them in a conversation.
I just can't understand why anyone would post stuff for anyone to see ever. Even family! I keep my life private. If someone wants to keep up, call them... Write them... E-mail them...
It's not for you to understand why people use FB. If they want to use FB, so what? Get over yourself.
I like facebook and use it regularly. Its a great way to keep in touch with friends at my own convience. Not the late night akward phone call, "Did I catch you at a bad moment?" No, with facebook I have time to consider my response and see what old friends are up to by their posts and pictures. I'm single and I do use it as a device to date or at least see my prospects. Pictures say a lot and I can see at a glance that, "Oh they're happy together" or "Oh, she's just waiting for someone right to come along" and so on. I can totally believe that facebook is causing or help causing divorce in this instance. But when a relationship doesn't work I think that at some point its healthy to realize that that person was not the one for you afterall.